


Niespodzianka

by Husaria



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: 15th Century, Folklore, M/M, Polish Mythology, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-07-27 06:01:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20041081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Husaria/pseuds/Husaria
Summary: Poland takes Lithuania to the caves underneath Wawel to show him a surprise.





	Niespodzianka

**Author's Note:**

> Written for 2017's Rare Pair Week: Gods, Goddesses, and Mythology.
> 
> Takes place immediately following the events of the Legend of the Iron Wolf strip.

“Ahaha, ah—”

Lithuania returned from his half-rolling position into a sit. Poland’s backside fell flat on the grass, staring up at the sky.

“That was the most fun I’ve had in a while,” said Lithuania. After that conversation, the day brightened. The clouds dotting the sky seemed fluffy and light. Wawel castle did not seem so far away.

“You don’t have fun much,” said Poland pointedly. “You’re the most serious person I’ve met.”

“You don’t have to contend with Tartars and Muscovites!” Lithuania snapped. Realizing he had only met Poland for a few days, and he already yelled at him. “I-I’m sorry. That was unkind.”

“That’s alright.” Poland sat up, grass sticking to his tunic.

“I supposed I really am serious,” said Lithuania. He closed his mind and winced, thinking of his foreign affairs. “There’s a lot going on.”

“Tell you what.” Poland leaped to his feet. “I’ll show you a good time tonight. Meet me outside the castle gates before sunset.”

“Su-sun…?” Perplexed, Lithuania stood up and tried to discern the gleam in Poland’s eyes. Mischief no doubt. After all, the man asked him to take off his trousers when they first met face-to-face. “Are we going to the town?”

Poland grinned, and Lithuania became more confused. “I’ll show you. It’s gonna be a big surprise.”

“I don’t want to go to a brothel.”

Poland scoffed. “I don’t even like—We’re not going to a brothel. It’s going to be even better than a brothel.”

“What could—” Lithuania shook his head, trying hard not to think about what Poland had in store. “You said sunset in front of the gate. The gates close at sunset.”

Poland waved away his worry. “We’ll just sleep where we’re going.”

“Are you _sure_ it’s not a brothel?”

“Absolutely. I promise.”

That satisfied Lithuania. For now.

***

The sunset gave the Vistula rich reds, oranges, and set the river ablaze. The dying rays deepened the reds of Wawel’s roofs.

Lithuania gave thanks that the weather grew cooler. Any hotter, and he would be sweating under his armor. If Poland had anything silly planned, he had to be prepared.

“There you are—uh?”

Meanwhile, Poland wore a small cape and green breeches and brought a torch. And gazed at Lithuania as if he had grown an extra head. “Why in God’s name are you wearing that?”

“This will be difficult to take off in a brothel situation.”

“For God’s sake, we’re not going to a brothel!” Some of the nearby guards turned their heads at that remark. “I told you that we weren’t! Besides where we’re going has a bad history with people in armor.”

“I won’t take this off yet.”

“Fine.

Their elongated shadows followed them down the hill and grew longer as the sun made her way down the horizon. Lithuania’s curiosity grew stronger with each step. A part of him still believed that Poland meant to take him to a brothel, or maybe he had some prostitutes hidden away in some house. When Poland grinned and called it a “big surprise” and asked him to meet after sunset, Poland surely intended a brothel. But why would brothels have a bad history with people in armor?

“I have a strange question,” said Poland when they reached the bottom of the hill. Wawel Castle and Cathedral loomed large above them.

“Yes?”

“To the right. You always have this scared look in your eyes when I mention brothels. I always thought you pagans _loved_ carnal acts.” Poland had a small smirk on his face.

A red flush creeped into Lithuania’s face. “S-Some of us, yes,” he said quietly. “Not all of us. I-I…” He stopped before he made it worse.

Poland caught that. “You? Liet, have you never been with…?” An emotion crept into Poland’s voice that turned it softer than its normal tone.

“I-I don’t understand why I’m being asked this!” Lithuania said, flustered. “B-But if you insist…no, I have not been with a woman. Mock me all you want, but I’ve never been very interested in them.”

“Oh…” Poland’s tone continued.

It became darker outside. Lithuania was grateful Poland brought the torch.

“I’m assuming you’ve been with many women,” Lithuania said.

“But I haven’t,” Poland responded, looking straight ahead. “O-Or…at all…”

“Oh…” Lithuania’s voice became the same tone as Poland’s. “So…that makes two of us.” Of course, Poland _did _ask _him_ to show him his Lithuanian jewels. “Po...do you—”

“We’re here.”

They stood in front of some bushes at the foot of the rock.

“These are small trees.”

Poland scoffed again. “It’s about what’s _in_ the bushes. Pagans…” He gave Lithuania his torch. He moved aside some branches and revealed a ragged hole in the side of the cliff larger than a man. “We’re going through here.”

“In _here_?” asked Lithuania. “We’re going inside a cave?”

“No, we’re going to sit here and stare at it.”

“I only asked a question. No need for that tone.”

“Sorry.”

The cave was significantly cooler than outside and pitch-black. Water faintly dripped from the ceiling into little pools on the ground.

“This is amazing…” Lithuania’s voice echoed. He held up a torch to the walls, revealing the jagged and harsh stone walls, untouched by man. “How long has this cave been here?”

“It’s as old as I am. Probably older.” Poland walked away from Lithuania, the fire barely highlighting his back.

“What was it that you wanted to show me?” The inside of the cave was beautiful. Perhaps Poland wanted to show him a waterfall deeper inside?

“Oh, she should be here soon.”

“She?” A woman, and only one? “Po—”

“No, she’s not a prostitute.”

A deep panting joined their two breaths. A dog? No, this was much deeper and _larger_. Lithuania placed his hand on his sword.

“You know—” Poland turned to face him. “I’m a bit surprised you didn’t figure out where we are.”

“Where we—?”

Massive footsteps shook the ground beneath their feet.

“I mean, you complained that I didn’t listen to _your_ story, but you’ve completely forgot about—”

A massive horned green head and neck came into the torchlight above Poland’s head, as tall as the ceiling, followed by the giant torso and enormous bat-like wings surely larger than the cave itself—

“GET _BACK_!” Lithuania drew his sword, lunging.

The dragon’s eyes glittered in the light, and she shrieked harshly, showing her teeth and falling back away from Poland, deeper into the—

“STOP!”

A force pushed into Lithuania’s back, and he tumbled face-first to the ground. The torch fell to the other side of the cave. The sword clattered to the cave floor and out of the light.

“P-Poland, what’re you—”

“Don’t attack her!”

“Ah!” Lithuania got to his feet. “I could’ve fallen on my sword, you idiot—”

“Don’t!”

Lithuania picked up the torch and saw Poland cradling the beast’s head—almost as large as his front—on top of his chest.

“Shh…” Poland told her. “It’s alright. I won’t let him hurt you.”

“M-Me hurt _that_?”

Teeth bared, the dragon hissed, draping a massive wing over Poland.

“I told you she was going to be a surprise,” Poland said simply like she was a dog.

“Th-That’s a dragon!”

“That’s established.”

“B-But she _lives_ here? In the cave?”

“On Wawel. She comes here to sleep sometimes.”

“_Sometimes_? What? I don’t under—” It finally came to Lithuania. “Is she the dragon from the story you told me? About Krakow?”

“_Now_ you understand,” said Poland. “Technically, no. That was her mother. She hatched around the same time the city was founded.”

Still disbelieving that he was seeing a full-grown dragon, Lithuania took a few tentative steps towards Poland.

“I’m not sure if humans can see her or not,” Poland said. “But they’d kill her if they knew. I’ve known about her since they moved the capital. Shhh…” he crooned again to the dragon, stroking her cheek. “Sorry about that scare.” The dragon made a chirp-like sound as Poland scratched the crest on top of her head.

“I…” Lithuania thought of Vilnius. “I understand.”

“Do you want to touch her?”

“Wh-What, no!”

“She’s warm. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.”

“E-Err…”

The dragon approached Lithuania, using both of her wings to propel her forward, her pupils small dots in the light. She only had two legs, not the four sometimes seen in bestiaries. A crest of large horns decorated her head, with two horns gutting out larger and more curved than the others.

Lithuania’s heart pounded, and his breath became closer and closer together. The dragon swung her head towards him, her snout and those fangs as long as knives in his direction. He stretched out his hand.

His hand touched her snout, and her nostrils flared. She had eyes as gold as the fire in Lithuania’s hand and stared through him. Poland was right. She was older than him, as ancient as Krakow. Blinking, her pupils enlarged, and she pressed against his hand.

The dragon chirped again when Poland stood next to her head.

“Well,” said Lithuania. “This…”

“Did you like the surprise?” said Poland excitedly. “I’ve never shown her to anyone before.”

“Y-Yes, even if I almost soiled myself.” Lithuania looked around. “Are we going to go back to the castle to sleep?”

“Oh no,” said Poland. “She’s super warm. We can just sleep on her.”

_“What?!”_

***

The dragon’s belly rose and fell with each breath. The cave was pitch-black after they put out the torch; Lithuania could not see his hand in front of his face. Instead of risking water droplets falling on them, the dragon wrapped a wing around the both of them, a warm cocoon.

“Liet?”

“You’re still awake?” Lithuania said to a figure somewhere next to him. “I thought you fell asleep.”

“I did, but then I woke up.”

“What for?”

“Why are _you_ still up?”

“This is the first time I’ve ever slept on a dragon before. Or in a cave. You fell asleep right away.”

“I’ve slept here before.”

_“Here?”_ Lithuania said incredulously. “Why?”

“When arguing upstairs gets too heated, I come down here.” Poland sighed. “I’ve been down here a _lot_ in the past few centuries.”

“I see.” Lithuania put his hands behind his head. “I do similar things to Vilnius.”

“Vilnius?” asked Poland. “What’s Vilnius again? I forgot.”

“I’ll show you when we travel there.” Lithuania smiled. “It’ll be a surprise.”

Poland scoffed. “Fine.”

“Say, you never answered my question.”

“What question?”

“The one from earlier while we walked. If you’ve never been with a woman and you have no interest in one…” Lithuania gulped. “…You…you wouldn’t happen to...prefer the company of men, would you? I won’t tell anyone, and I won’t think any less of you if you are…Po?” He tilted his head to the side. Of course, he couldn’t see Poland, but he could hear his steady breathing. He must have fallen back asleep.

“Well…good night, Po.” Lithuania closed his eyes.

Unbeknownst to Lithuania, panic raced through Poland’s mind and his fearful eyes stared straight into the darkness.

***

Poland saw nothing but darkness. Due to the piece of cloth Lithuania wrapped around his eyes. 

“Gosh, we’re miles away from town. Where are you taking me?”

“It’s a surprise.”

Twigs crunched under both of their feet. The sound of birds and a small stream filled Poland’s ears. Lithuania accidentally lead him face-first into a tree a half-hour ago.

“Alright…now!”

Poland took off the cloth. Just as he expected, they were in the middle of a clearing in a forest surrounded by nothing but trees and dirt.

“…This is a forest,” Poland said simply.

“Yes, but the surprise is nearby.” Lithuania pressed his front teeth against his lower lip and whistled.

“What, where?”

Poland whirled around. Leaves rustled behind him. A soft growling reverberated throughout the clearing and grew louder and deeper along with steps treading close too large for a wolf. Poland felt hot, moist breath on the back of his neck.

“I told you, Po.”

Poland slowly turned around. A hulking gray wolf in armor taller than him stood next to Lithuania, showing its front teeth.

“You should’ve listened to my story about Vilnius.”

Poland’s ensuing shriek could be heard for miles.


End file.
